# old tweets (selected)
for posterity (archivation in progress)

dang some of them are lost forever, only goes back to 2020

### jan 4, 2020
in the credits for MARRIAGE STORY there was a section for Drivers, but it didn't list Adam Driver! Ostensibly the most important Driver of the whole film!

### jan 10, 2020
Just had a genius idea: bowling but closer

### feb 1, 2020
Ali is writing a sketch and she asks me: "what's a nintendo switch game? Yoshi's Haunted something?"

### mar 4, 2020
KFC chicken ..... the "F" does not stand for "Fried" ....

### mar 23, 2020
spaghetti with tornado sauce

### mar 28, 2020
everyone makes a big fuss about spelling bees, but let me tell ya, there's only one way to spell "bees" and it's B-E-E-S BEES!

### apr 11, 2020
We are really living in some sort of world right now aren't we

### apr 25, 2020
OMG, I love Cheetos and Cheeto-type foods.

### may 11, 2020
please do not "joke off" in my prescense. this is serious

### aug 29, 2020
my dad hates tony brothers

### oct 16, 2020
has anyone tried to make a hot milkshake. I think this idea could change the world

### oct 23, 2020
The Family Guy generation has destroyed the american conscience once again

### nov 21, 2020
I invented "cat boys" at age three.

### jan 11, 2021
Middle School Student Wins Middle School Spelling Bee

### feb 3, 2021
I believe in fat earth theory. big thicc earth theory

### apr 11, 2021
I guess you could say im on island time... KONG: Skull Island time, that is!!

### jun 22, 2021
never in my life seen a they/them use a bitmoji... some things up

### jun 26, 2021
Just thought of this: Shrek Holmes

### jul 12, 2021
I am completely ADDICTED to gender

### aug 4, 2021
the only true measure of quality when it comes to art is how hot was the person who made it

### aug 17, 2021
excited for ScooterMania 2022 which is something I just made up

### sep 23, 2021
wonkers = wacky + bonkers

### dec 2, 2021
I hate being Bipolar. I should be Bisexual instead

### dec 18, 2021
having a brain is the dumbest thing ever

### jan 11, 2022
what's up to my two favorite genders, dawgs and pawgs

### jul 16, 2023
Every Good Boy Does Fine is such a lie. some good boys aren't anywhere close to fine.....

### jul 17, 2023
dont talk to me until ive had my season five of house, md on DVD

### jul 31, 2023
i ♡ items

### aug 9, 2023
missed opportunity: i should have said "I'm psyched to be here!" during my time in the psych ward

### aug 18, 2023
all my friends are coming over and we are going to watch hydraulic press videos and cheer like it's a sporting event

### aug 25, 2023
🤘😎 I'M JUST A KID, 😎🤘 and... 🤔 life Is a nightmare?? 😥🥺

### aug 28, 2023
i like to imagine that life is like the intro to You! Me! Dancing! by Los Campesinos! and death happens around 1:42 in the song

### sep 10, 2023
it all started with uh-oh oreos... the crisis of variety in our modern age

### sep 27, 2023
dangit. I am completely my-wife-and-child-are-the-light-of-my-life pilled

### oct 25, 2023
guy who has seen 10 movies: dude you gotta check out movies

guy who shuts up:

### jan 8, 2024
God seriously went crazy when he invented girls tbh

### may 22, 2024
gorgeous gorgeous girls love html and css