stream 3

my phone is in black and white. it goes into sleep mode when the time comes. the time comes always at 8 30 pm now. the baby is here because she makes me wake up early so I go to bed earlier so my phone is black and white and gray. it is mostly gray. the gray takes and takes and takes and sucks and it sucks. songs that suck suck. songs that suck rock

suck rocks

go into the day with another life behind you. the only way to live is to remember. the only thing you can do is live. so you must remember.

I thought I knew things. I thought I knew I couldn't know, but I can't even begin to know. no know. know no know. I know no know whatso. it would be cool to be clowning around the town with my pals on a Saturday night at circle K playing Harry Potter on the Playstation 2 from Christmas when I was young enough to forget to remember and to live like no one else could be there. not to be but not not to be anything. I think power from fingers hitting digital keys makes power flow. I think glow flow low flow slow flow blow flow. Dr seuss was onto something with the rhyming and made up words. what tf is a speech. he just made that thing. cool little dude. probably wore breeches or smth. I don't recall.

little little little little

when the time comes, I will wait. my dad said he never waited. he was never bored. I believe I will never wait. to wait is not to do anything. waiting is impossible. you aren't waiting. you're sitting. you're thinking. you're sleeping. you're scrolling. you're reading. you aren't waiting.

maybe to wait is the opposite of to exist. waiting and existing. to wait is to deny the present. presence is the same as awareness and living. it's impossible to wait. you can only be and experience.

pickle pops. anti pickle ball. ball pals like to live by the tracks and go to the park and hit the big boys over the fence. they're coming. they're gonna be here for the big game. big day. only every day is the same size, really. every moment is the same size.

wonder if those tree folks from the lord of the rings had mothers. they would be moments

would be good to listen to more Defiance, Ohio. my dad went to college there. good band. You Are Loved is a good song. I also like another song, but i don't know what it is right now. something about something something. oh yeah. the poemy thing from gus dappyboy. and the ocean lady.

no one told us we were good. but we were good.

kicks me right there. kicks me in the ribs. kick it right kick. rick em up.

Buzz Off! says the bee. when the be wants to no longer have been. when it's time to go. the time comes. the time never comes. the time never goes. the time only is always. there's only the little bits.

there's only the little bits. I think there's only the little bits. when it comes down to it... there's only the little bits.

still afraid I'll wake up and it will be summer 2021 again. sometimes there are moments that happen that take me back. it was a john green type of thing. something staring at a wall something with Jesus. something with bo burnham and demi adejuyigbe. something about the sleep metal. something I don't know and won't understand. terrifying. terror. lots of it but it's always been the way it was just seeing it different. new glasses. hoppin new spex. going to make up words again. make up works again. make another video essay. make make make make or discover or compile or just man just chill man just dude really just chill just yo what's up just chillin out but just chill no just chill it chill it dawg. livin la Vida frickin chill boys

this is for you